The Dog awakes

So it is 4.00am in the morning and the dog's scratching is still keeping you awake. what do you do. Readers who suggest kicking the dog out or ask in the the wrong sort of tone why the dog was there and scratching are missing the point. The point is that it is 4.00am and you are awake and have three hours to kill before Breakfast. The answer is that you read of course. But then do you try and sneak on the portable book light(it gives out a spot of light so you can just about see a paragraph).

You are forced to do this because the wife get very irritated if woken in the middle of the night by reading. Curiously, she is never woken by the dog and always claimed not to have slept a wink through worry, the heat, the cold, the noise etc. I am usually too busy wrapping a pillow around my ears to block out the snoring and fighting for the duvet to notice the heat, cold, noise or to worry. This option being out its then down to the sofa and searching for a duvet to keep warm so you can read and then a cup of tea(not real tea as not healthy , blah, blah) as you read.

Eventfully, you are ready to settle but then can't find the book. This is back in the bedroom with wife who is busy not sleeping a wink. Hence I have to creep around the room falling over the piles of clothes(don't ask). The dog who having got up with me, sniffed around the garden, drink a bowl of water is now looking with disapproval at being disturbed from HER sleep. But the point is reading, so book finally found and it now being 5.30 plenty of time to sink into the world of What a carve up! For those that have read it I am encountering Roddy of the Art world now. For those who have not, its a satire on the excesses of the Thatcher years that rings all too true for those who lived through it.

For those who still want to cast the dog out. A poll from www.dogpages.org.uk suggest you are the type that fried ants with a magnifying glass when you were young.

Where does you dog sleep at night?
With you [ 408 ] [52.99%]
living room [ 80 ] [10.39%]
kichen [ 133 ] [17.27%]
dining room [ 34 ] [4.42%]
hall [ 59 ] [7.66%]
bathroom [ 1 ] [0.13%]
other bedroom [ 18 ] [2.34%]
outside [ 4 ] [0.52%]
other room [ 33 ] [4.29%]